tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5223027726680052006.post5210183834140420622..comments2023-07-15T00:49:06.852-07:00Comments on asexy beast: Asexuals are awesome! *hides*Ilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12795337226989102549noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5223027726680052006.post-74734433184861471272013-05-07T18:43:35.121-07:002013-05-07T18:43:35.121-07:00It's a great post and I can understand the hat...It's a great post and I can understand the hatred towards asexuals. However, I'm grateful to be able to surround myself with such wonderful and open friends who help me realize that being ace is OK. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5223027726680052006.post-28126638431224855112011-11-30T12:57:10.367-08:002011-11-30T12:57:10.367-08:00@litatrix: That means a lot to me, thanks for lett...@litatrix: That means a lot to me, thanks for letting me know :)Ilyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12795337226989102549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5223027726680052006.post-24526368464623868152011-11-30T04:15:30.211-08:002011-11-30T04:15:30.211-08:00@Ily
Thank you so very very much. It is such a hu...@Ily <br />Thank you so very very much. It is such a huge relief to know that I am not in fact alone. I started to realize what was going on last year, and since that time all of my inner conflicts have left me feeling broken. You comment, which I have read probably 10 times has made me feel real relief and wholeness for the first time in awhile. For this, I sincerely thank you.litatrixhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13286600848606242210noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5223027726680052006.post-89499651481039702752011-11-29T21:17:09.345-08:002011-11-29T21:17:09.345-08:00@litatrix: Hey, I'm glad you commented! It...@litatrix: Hey, I'm glad you commented! It's definitely not something that's easy to talk about...but you never know, once you start, you might find it hard to stop (like me!) When I was in high school, I just assumed everyone else was asexual (...yeah...) and "focused on their work" which was how I understood my lack of sexual interest at the time. <br /><br />But yeah, there's nothing at all unusual in what you're saying--hopefully that's somewhat of a relief? I can definitely relate to feeling left out; I think most asexuals can. Nor is there anything so strange about not wanting to hang out with straight dudes...or being nonsexually attracted to people. It's hard to be a teen who isn't into sex, because there are all these stereotypes and expectations. But, you're not the only one. In fact, if you go to a school with 1000 people, there should be 10 asexuals (although...it might be hard to find them).<br /><br />Have you been on AVEN at all? There are a lot of really welcoming people there. It can be nice to just do an intro post, hear from a bunch of other asexuals in one place, and see that no one will judge you harshly about your sexuality. There are also a lot of cool asexuals on Tumblr, if you're into that. So, if you want to seek out more support, there are some resources.<br /><br />And of course, you're welcome to drop by here whenever you'd like :)Ilyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12795337226989102549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5223027726680052006.post-38562377521484996952011-11-29T19:47:21.962-08:002011-11-29T19:47:21.962-08:00-note this is realated to your blog as a whole and...-note this is realated to your blog as a whole and my need for someone who may or may not understand how im feeling)<br />So, I have read your last several blog posts and I have found you to be very insightful and it has actually helped me quite a bit. For awhile I have been struggling with my sexuality (or lack thereof). I one day stumbled across asexuality and I snapped up all of the information I could find. I admit that this seems pretty straightforward, but this it where it gets complicated. I am a freshman in highschool and male. I have been in love/really liked one girl for the past several years, but I have occasionally found people of my own gender to be attractive I have never had a desire to do anything with that attraction.<br /> I am friends with all girls, and I have never mentioned this attraction to any of them because as a general assumption I hate the mentality/mannerisms of men. All of my friends have began to enter into relationships and I am alone, and I have never kissed anyone, as a result of a lack of desire on my part (I have had two past realtionships each lasting a year) I have really begun to stick out among my friends as our earlier indiffence to sexual orientations has begun to form me as the outcast who doesn't have the experiences that they have, and this has begun to make me feel inferior. <br /> Then I discovered asexuality, and you. I believe I have finally found my answer in someone whom I believe feels the same way I do. <br /><br /> P.S. if you are wondering which I woundnt I have not heterosexual guy friends because they are all sex crazed and I am most definitely not<br /> P.P.S I have not read this over for fear I will lose my nerve and sit in misery awhile longer, so please forgive any errors in flow and or grammar.<br /> P.P.P.S. I feel like I am taking a huge step forward by actually opening up to someone, even though I don't know them personally, please at least respect that.<br /><br />I really appreciate it.litatrixhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13286600848606242210noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5223027726680052006.post-65180826577266605852011-11-08T20:16:21.806-08:002011-11-08T20:16:21.806-08:00@asexualspace: Thanks for commenting, and I hear y...@asexualspace: Thanks for commenting, and I hear ya. I tend to ask "why me?" when something bad happens, although often, it's true, there's no real reason. As for feeling guilty, I wish I had something helpful to say...it's true, a lot of people haven't heard of us, but more people are learning everyday. In a few years, people may have no excuse. And I'd like to think that representations of asexuals could be interesting to everybody. I think most everyone wants to see representations of people like themselves; it's nothing to be ashamed of at all. If you're ever seen the movie "The Celluloid Closet", it talks about that...people who were searching for gay film representations before they really existed. I need to re-watch that one.Ilyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12795337226989102549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5223027726680052006.post-48675187131236565232011-11-06T10:25:15.507-08:002011-11-06T10:25:15.507-08:00This reminds me -- during the blog carnival I host...This reminds me -- during the blog carnival I hosted, my immediate reaction to learning that it might be trolled (which it wasn't, to my knowledge) was, "What did <i>I</i> do to attract these people?" I didn't consider that they just wanted to go out and find anyplace they could cause trouble. It had to have been something I did. (Sciatrix talked me out of that headspace, though.)<br /><br />I still also feel guilty when I get really hopeful about someone <i>possibly</i> including asexuality in something (I've yet to run across a situation where I suspect someone's about to include demi- or gray-) and then it turns out they didn't. I feel guilty for getting my hopes up because who's really heard of us and why should I expect anyone who isn't involved in an ace community to think about us, ever? This goes a lot for feminist spaces. Also, the new comic QUILTBAG (which is still at Penny & Aggie's website right now). I'm keeping myself from daring to hope that the A will at any point, even briefly, stand for asexual and not ally. (I'm also wondering whether the T will actually show up, but I don't feel guilty about hoping for that.)<br /><br />And I'm still bad about offering my opinions on ace things. I think, well, do I really need to comment? Does this really need someone else saying something? Even though it's the ace spaces I'm in where I feel the most comfortable speaking up.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5223027726680052006.post-66354840304424052172011-11-06T09:59:54.695-08:002011-11-06T09:59:54.695-08:00Thank you both for the thoughtful comments!
@Scia...Thank you both for the thoughtful comments!<br /><br />@Sciatrix:<br /><br /><i>And I had to tell her that it was take pride in who I am, to actively love who I am, or else to hate myself, because that's what the world tells me to do on several axes. You know?</i><br /><br />Oh, do I ever! I was wondering if my semi-recent posts on self love were really relevant to asexuality...but to me as an asexual, at least at this point in my life, there are few things more relevant. <br /><br />I'm glad you found it important! Made me happy to hear that :)<br /><br />@SM: Yeah...it can be hard to tell other people when to ditch a friend, since everyone has different deal breakers. Although, I think people need to know that they can "allow" asexuality to be the same as any other status. Like, if you wouldn't accept homophobia or biphobia from a friend, it's okay not to accept willful ignorance or maliciousness about your asexuality. Like, you don't have to sit through it for the sake of educating someone, unless that's what you genuinely want to do.<br /><br />It's funny, in this post, I thought about writing "asexuals are encouraged to come out *for the benefit of other people*", but for some reason I wasn't sure I could make that claim. So, I'm glad you're making it. I think the contradiction is real...What I hear is something like: "you don't have to come out, but if you do, do it to educate people". I'm not sure that duty is the best motivator. And it's true, it's relatively easy to stay closeted as an asexual.Ilyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12795337226989102549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5223027726680052006.post-4241500084284211922011-11-06T01:10:52.328-07:002011-11-06T01:10:52.328-07:00Great post.
I actually really dislike the LGBTQA ...Great post.<br /><br />I actually really dislike the LGBTQA tendency to hear a story about a phobic friend and just be like 'They're a terrible person! They're bad for you! Cut them loose!', because they're only responding to the worst points. I have quite a few phobic friends who I still like because their good qualities make up for it.<br /><br />And re. coming out, I'd always seen it the other way round, that the asexual community makes it seem like there's a duty to come out because we're smaller and need the publicity. Perhaps its because asexuality is invisible- you can be asexual and pretend you're just unenthused, while to be successfully homoromantic must be really difficult while closeted.SlightlyMetaphysicalhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17891271827553008521noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5223027726680052006.post-75912266512339608982011-11-05T18:37:34.174-07:002011-11-05T18:37:34.174-07:00Oh my god, this post is brilliant. And yeah, I kno...Oh my god, this post is brilliant. And yeah, I know *exactly* what you mean about internalizing the negative messages I get all the damn time. About internalizing this belief that asexuality isn't as "important" as other sexualities; that our issues don't deserve to be discussed, that we're so rare and unusual that we should never, ever expect to be included. I internalize that a lot, and I spend a lot of time trying to catch that conditioning and fixing it. <br /><br />I also think that a lot of people don't get the difference between pride in the "better than you" sense and pride in the "you say I'm not good enough, world? FUCK YOU I'M AWESOME" sense. I was talking to at friend some time ago about how sometimes I really wish I could fit into normal narratives for once, and she gave me a really weird look and told me "but you seem to really love being weird!" And I had to tell her that it was take pride in who I am, to actively love who I am, or else to hate myself, because that's what the world tells me to do on several axes. You know? There's always an element of "fuck you" in my pride, because there's always the knowledge that someone--many someones--have told me that who I am is not something to be proud of. <br /><br />Thank you for writing this post. I think it was something that was very, very important to say.Sciatrixhttp://www.writingfromfactorx.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.com