tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5223027726680052006.post5226871864307768117..comments2023-07-15T00:49:06.852-07:00Comments on asexy beast: Sense and SensitivityIlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12795337226989102549noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5223027726680052006.post-70874829628889424132010-09-12T21:50:46.163-07:002010-09-12T21:50:46.163-07:00Thanks, Andreas! I'm glad you could relate to...Thanks, Andreas! I'm glad you could relate to the post. I agree that explaining NLD is really difficult. Even "the experts" can't agree on it.Ilyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12795337226989102549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5223027726680052006.post-74682250658562024432010-09-08T23:58:32.805-07:002010-09-08T23:58:32.805-07:00Really an amazing post!
You did a great job consi...Really an amazing post! <br />You did a great job considering all the ins and outs. I think the worst part is the confusion that an explanation would bring!<br />I believe I have NLD (not so much AS, though they overlap like crazy).<br />I definitely think there is a range, but I think the high numbers are related to not instinctively reading the cues. I wouldn't call myself asexual, but I'm nowhere near as much as many other (generally NT) people.<br /><br />It's great when someone else "gets it"!<br />Thanks for fulfilling read!Andreashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02934641845361383327noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5223027726680052006.post-616761630024433672010-01-16T15:38:13.835-08:002010-01-16T15:38:13.835-08:00i also have issues with being touched (if it is by...i also have issues with being touched (if it is by people i do not know very well or do not trust very good) - BUT if it is done by a person who i love with all my heart - then i have no issue with it. to me - it depends on how long i know the person, if they are trusted or not, and weither or not i love them very much.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5223027726680052006.post-58539455742797644912008-08-16T20:45:00.000-07:002008-08-16T20:45:00.000-07:00Gatto, that is a really interesting idea! I hadn'...Gatto, that is a really interesting idea! I hadn't thought about it that way, but that could easily be a factor in all this.Ilyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12795337226989102549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5223027726680052006.post-69080231511547788182008-08-16T01:48:00.000-07:002008-08-16T01:48:00.000-07:00I think like most autistics my interest in things ...I think like most autistics my interest in things tends to be either extreme or nonexistent, and rarely in between. There aren't a lot of things I find only mildly interesting. Maybe that pattern would explain the prevalence of asexuality among autistics. I don't find sex appealing. I mean, it's only interesting from an anthropological standpoint to me, not something I would want as a hobby. If most autistics follow this pattern of either extreme interest or disinterest in things, then besides a high prevalence of asexual autistics, there should also be a high prevalence of sex-obsessed autistics. I bet that is the case, although I don't have any data on that. For reasons you mention, though, I expect most of those autistics would tend to be a fairly frustrated lot. But maybe not... people can get very good at things when they're obsessed enough. It's interesting to consider.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5223027726680052006.post-2570746345034154862008-08-15T23:51:00.000-07:002008-08-15T23:51:00.000-07:00Even worse than mystifying, I personally find many...Even worse than mystifying, I personally find many of them pointless. I think many aspies/auties would agree with me on that (and some NT rebels). That's one reason (among many) why I have such a hard time finding a job. The idea of faking enthusiasm literally makes me feel sick. That sounds dramatic, but I haven't found a way around it yet. And I have acting training!Ilyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12795337226989102549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5223027726680052006.post-64668279168510666392008-08-15T23:37:00.000-07:002008-08-15T23:37:00.000-07:00There was one time when a guy asked if he could ki...There was one time when a guy asked if he could kiss me, and I thought it was really sweet and sexy.<BR/><BR/>But all of this is beside the point. Anyone who finds social interactions mystifying would probably have a very hard time conducting a romantic relationship.Superquailhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02758204872900554967noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5223027726680052006.post-10683976137855553822008-08-15T23:28:00.000-07:002008-08-15T23:28:00.000-07:00Ah, sorry, being way too broad again...That's true...Ah, sorry, being way too broad again...That's true, I'm sure people talk during sex...I wasn't trying to get at the actual mechanics; more the overall process of a romantic relationship. I mean, ever kissed someone without asking, "can I kiss you?" first? Communication in general is supposed to be 90% nonverbal, right? If you don't understand any nonverbal communication, it can be hard to even get to sex (if you want to); you're unlikely to get past flirting. If I did ever want to have sex, I'd have no idea how to go about it besides posting an ad on Craigslist's "Casual Encounters". For autistic folk, I think getting to sex is probably 100x more complicated than the actual sex itself. I know I watch too many movies, but I really get my ideas from lots of places, honest...<BR/>:-)Ilyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12795337226989102549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5223027726680052006.post-3504968390535632922008-08-15T22:53:00.000-07:002008-08-15T22:53:00.000-07:00I think you make an excellent point, Mary. There ...I think you make an excellent point, Mary. There is this vision of sex that involves two people interacting in perfect union like dance partners, neither one saying anything but both knowing exactly what to do. It doesn't happen like that! But the myth is so persuasive that a lot of people forgo saying things that really should be said because they think that talking is not allowed.Superquailhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02758204872900554967noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5223027726680052006.post-34397668591540805682008-08-15T21:15:00.000-07:002008-08-15T21:15:00.000-07:00It's interesting to me the way people in general r...It's interesting to me the way people in general react to different kinds of "weird." There are definitely "good" kinds of weird, like people who are exceptionally tall are often praised for it and recruited for basketball teams, or people who are exceptionally beautiful tend to get a lot of things for free, etc.<BR/><BR/>When it comes to neurological or psychological conditions in which a person is different but looks just like anyone else, there seems to be a great resistance to accepting them as "different." People assume that you can just stop doing that thing and "be normal."<BR/><BR/>I have Tourette's Syndrome and when I tell people this they usually think it is very funny and they ask if I blurt out swear words. I never have and I do not know any one with Tourette's who does, but thanks to Hollywood, this is the impression everyone has. I think it is worse when people think they know what a condition is and are wrong rather than knowing nothing at all. Because when I say that I hate repeated words and phrases (they really drive me nuts) or that bright lights stress me out, people decide that I am just whining and can get over it. If I were to blurt out swear words though, they would be very understanding. ;)Superquailhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02758204872900554967noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5223027726680052006.post-9508735366126923672008-08-15T20:17:00.000-07:002008-08-15T20:17:00.000-07:00Sex, as far as I can tell, is primarily nonverbal....<I>Sex, as far as I can tell, is primarily nonverbal.</I><BR/><BR/>In truth, sex can be highly verbal or completely nonverbal--it just depends on the people and the mood. It's a myth perpetrated by the movies that sex is conducted in silence or with only apropos speech, whether dirty or romantic.Fellmamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08651050366058663737noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5223027726680052006.post-41865425693826902362008-08-14T21:35:00.000-07:002008-08-14T21:35:00.000-07:00totally fascinating; I'm glad you clarified some o...totally fascinating; I'm glad you clarified some of this. like most of the NT world, I am seriously under-educated about autism, despite knowing a handful of people who land somewhere on the spectrum. and wow -- yet another reason to smack Joy Davidson if I ever meet her. good to know. ::eyeroll::<BR/><BR/>p.s. I'm inspiring! yeay! :)Mary Maxfieldhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03958827151633669653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5223027726680052006.post-68072226770263930792008-08-14T18:09:00.000-07:002008-08-14T18:09:00.000-07:00As far as being on the borderline goes, I don't th...As far as being on the borderline goes, I don't think that's unusual at all. Having to be one thing or another is way too simplistic. It might make society easier to function as a whole or something, but it's sort of rubbish when it comes to trying to understand yourself. I'm glad the post was helpful!Ilyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12795337226989102549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5223027726680052006.post-40912449378739716142008-08-14T04:50:00.000-07:002008-08-14T04:50:00.000-07:00Hmm... I've sometimes wondered if I might be on th...Hmm... I've sometimes wondered if I might be on the autistic spectrum, or else whether I might be schizotypal. A lot of the symptoms fit, but then again, many of them don't. I think I may be on the borderline between being neurotypical, and being different enough to be diagnosed (what is it with me and being on the borderline anyway?). I actually never used to think about myself as anything other than neurotypical, but in the past few years I've been realizing that maybe I am more different than I thought I was, mostly because other people have commented on it. It's difficult to judge how typical or not typical I am, since I can't really step outside myself to see. I refrain from self-diagnosis because I don't think I understand it well enough to say one way or the other.<BR/><BR/>If ever I did get officially diagnosed, it might explain some things, but I think it would leave more questions in my mind than explanations: specifically, on the interplay of autism and asexuality. Due to the kind of assumptions that Joy Davidson makes, my asexuality would seem to me to be more clear-cut (although certainly not black and white) without a diagnosis. So in a way, yeah, I'm hesitant to discuss it because of that, but a second reason I feel hesitant to discuss asexuality and autism is because I really don't know so much about it. To that end, your post has been helpful--and I would be curious to hear more about it, too, if at some point you feel up to sharing.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5223027726680052006.post-75536983484380338832008-08-13T18:51:00.000-07:002008-08-13T18:51:00.000-07:00Now that *is* interesting. I've never thought abou...<I>Now that *is* interesting. I've never thought about it that way.</I><BR/>Hey, good! That's what I was trying to accomplish <BR/>:-)Ilyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12795337226989102549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5223027726680052006.post-87996463485261340802008-08-13T18:34:00.000-07:002008-08-13T18:34:00.000-07:00Now that *is* interesting. I've never thought abou...Now that *is* interesting. I've never thought about it that way.<BR/><BR/>I'm also shocked I can't remember Joy Davidson saying we all have Aspergers. I would have been equally cross. Grrr.<BR/><BR/>Heh, in my family, it's the aspie who's straight...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com