tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5223027726680052006.post5819947915150133512..comments2023-07-15T00:49:06.852-07:00Comments on asexy beast: Aging AndrogynouslyIlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12795337226989102549noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5223027726680052006.post-75323242367632963902014-03-25T06:40:07.999-07:002014-03-25T06:40:07.999-07:00Anonymous #2 out of 3's comment reminded me of...Anonymous #2 out of 3's comment reminded me of an experience I had recently, a few days before my 24th birthday where I was out with my 51-year-old father. A person trying to sell us jewelry (well, me, because I was interested) assumed we were a married couple. I wonder if I look older than I am and I don't really want people assuming things about my age that aren't true. My dad thinks people assume he's younger than he is because his hair has remained mainly NOT gray... it's slowly starting to turn silver now but he has black-ish hair.<br /><br />:P<br /><br />Generally I think not wearing make-up makes people not sure of how to judge my age, too.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5223027726680052006.post-16016120919550895452011-11-06T14:16:00.104-08:002011-11-06T14:16:00.104-08:00I've always looked my age, but I don't kno...I've always looked my age, but I don't know if I dress my age.<br /><br />There are some clothes I associate with people of a certain age, butthen again I also associate them with people of a certain social group.<br /><br />I just see clothes I really like and then I try to find them in my size. I've recently begun noticing that people say: "[this or that] looks horrible on her / makes her look slutty, she's not 20 anymore" about people only a few years older than me. I hadn't considered before that you can't wear certain clothes at a certain age (at least according to other people).<br /><br />I'm not really sure what I "should" be wearing. But then again I also don't care much.Norahhttp://blogwithoutatopic.weblog.nlnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5223027726680052006.post-20260357859854733992011-10-14T08:16:43.125-07:002011-10-14T08:16:43.125-07:00i also "present" as younger/ than it say...i also "present" as younger/ than it says on my birth certificate, and not through any effort on my part. i think part of it is my Being Polite to Strangers look tends to project "harmless and clueless." which is hilarious when i'm helping someone figure out bus times, and i've got the bus book *open in front of me*, and someone decides they know better off the top of their head when the bus is supposed to be coming. and random people tend to assume i'm a student as well. (which is when i respond "actually, i'm a college dropout. :)" lol...) <br /><br />i consider myself a woman, though. i may lack most of the accomplishments and experiences of most of my peers, but i think at 28 years old i'm sure as hell not a "girl" anymore. (never mind that i've moved back in with my folks.)<br /><br />i'm REALLY looking forward to turning 30, though. it's like i expect to level up and people will treat me like a proper adult or something. maybe a mix of that and intending to thumb my nose in the face of culture that seems to think that 30 is when "old" starts (clearly i've spent too much time on runescape in the company of teenagers, lol...).nekobawthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06332955132234113033noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5223027726680052006.post-71281944198345104912011-10-14T03:16:07.405-07:002011-10-14T03:16:07.405-07:00Hmmm. I know what that is like. Though I also thin...Hmmm. I know what that is like. Though I also think it's in the eye of the beholder as well. Some people would look at me and say 30 and some would say 25. I even had a girl at the ticket counter recently ask my friend how old I was after she asked for 2 adult tickets as the ticket seller obviously assumed I was a child!<br /><br />Up until a couple of years ago (I'm 30), most people assumed I was around 21 to 23 or so, I think mostly due to the whole lack of wrinkles but also I still get zits and tend not to wear make up (aside from some cover up on the spots). Most people in my family tend to look fairly young so I tend to guess older ages for other people. <br /><br />But I do find that you do get taken a little less seriously at work. I've had jobs where the older staff members tended to treat me a bit like their kid even if I was only 10 years younger than them!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5223027726680052006.post-6920543487588292762011-10-13T19:23:21.746-07:002011-10-13T19:23:21.746-07:00Ily,
If it makes you feel any better I'm 41, ...Ily,<br /><br />If it makes you feel any better I'm 41, houseless, spouseless and kidless.<br /><br />Maybe there *is* an asexual component to looking younger, or at least more innocent. I had an experience similar to yours when I was 28 and the ticket guy at a train station in the UK asked my mother (note to self: traveling with mother makes one look younger!) if she wanted to purchase the children's fare for me (this was for people 15 years and younger). We all had a good laugh.<br /><br />Now, at 41 I don't have a lot of wrinkles but my hair is happily on its way to Greyland and I'm not dyeing those suckers out. Nobody asks me if I'm a student any more. You have dark hair--those greys should show up just fine in a few years.<br /><br />I totally agree with you about the What Not To Wear people. Why hasn't anyone ever turned to them and said, "I don't want to look sexy. I want to look *good*!" I would like to see how they would deal with dressing a child, where looking sexy is not the point.<br /><br />Maybe it's me or the asexuality but I never refer to myself as a woman. I'm female. "Woman" implies sexuality and that's just not a thing I want associated with me.<br /><br />-SarahTAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5223027726680052006.post-19689649600324731962011-10-13T18:22:52.575-07:002011-10-13T18:22:52.575-07:00When most people meet me, their first assumption i...When most people meet me, their first assumption is that I am a college student, however this is understandable because 1) I'm only 23, so I'm still in the college age range (not everyone graduates in 4 years, and some people go to grad school) 2) I still dress like a college student (except when I go to work - I make sure to wear more 'grown-up' clothes when I go to work because, where I work, sending out *adult* social signals is better) 3) I'm white, in a part of the world where white people are less than 1% of the population, and one of most common reasons white people in their 20s end up here is because they are on a study-abroad program.<br /><br />I definitely wish that I read as older than I am right now, but under the circumstances it's understandable that people read me the way I do (I'm actually more insulted when people assume I'm a tourist than when they assume I'm a student, but when people hear me speaking one of the local languages they usually figure out that I am not a tourist).<br /><br />-SKAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5223027726680052006.post-89389857039634827262011-10-13T17:56:52.748-07:002011-10-13T17:56:52.748-07:00@dertorheitherberge: Totally OT, but I looked at y...@dertorheitherberge: Totally OT, but I looked at your blog, and...owls! <3 <3 <3<br /><br />Sadly, while mansplaining may be more specific, being patronizing is an equal-opportunity sport.<br /><br />@Matt: I've heard that people on the spectrum actually look younger, but I've wondered how that could really be possible. I haven't met a huge amount of Aspies/autistics in person, but I've met some, and I wouldn't say I was surprised by how young everybody looked.<br /><br />Like I said upthread, for some reason I'm very interested in the social aspects of "looking young", and why people may choose to mention it in a given situation. The research is always saying that people with NLD "ARE VERY NAIVE!!", which is probably less true for adults. But, there's always the chance that people with better nonverbal skills are picking up on signals I don't even know I'm sending.Ilyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12795337226989102549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5223027726680052006.post-3269246330788978392011-10-13T16:55:58.759-07:002011-10-13T16:55:58.759-07:00I'm a man who has been told I look younger, in...I'm a man who has been told I look younger, into my 30's. I've never felt slighted by it. It's more welcomed the older I get (because I feel it's less deserved.) I think it has to do with not only my physical appearance but my social aloofness as an Aspie. I guess I've never felt pressure to "prove" my experience either - if the situation calls for it I will just be myself, otherwise, let others think what they will.Matthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06092500646246056371noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5223027726680052006.post-78662606669740159002011-10-13T14:59:36.469-07:002011-10-13T14:59:36.469-07:00@Jessica: It's true, wrinkles will give you aw...@Jessica: It's true, wrinkles will give you away. (Looking at all the baby-faced people in my family, it'll be a while before I get there...however, there IS a lot of eyebrow-raising stuff on the internet.)<br /><br />I feel like there might also be a social aspect to *telling* someone they look young, where their looks are a convenient jumping-off point, but not the overall purpose of the interaction. Sorry if this is sounding convoluted, but I've been thinking more about that incident where I was called "cute" at work. I think it might have been my co-worker's way of saying that they didn't respect me and didn't have to do what I told them. There were other young-looking people at this company, but it was my work that was always being undermined, due to office politics. So looking back, I feel like drawing attention to my "cuteness" was almost a warning, in a way, that I not rock the boat. Had I looked a lot older, they might have said something different that was equally dismissive. Just wish I'd thought of all this before I made the original post!Ilyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12795337226989102549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5223027726680052006.post-85915628478272407572011-10-13T14:50:20.823-07:002011-10-13T14:50:20.823-07:00Hmm. The term mansplaining is new to me, but, as a...Hmm. The term mansplaining is new to me, but, as a pharmacist, I do get that attitude from women 60+, too. And that is somewhat more annoying than many the older males being patronizing.<br /><br />I mean, I have fewer wrinkles than most women younger than me, and I do have spots still (friggin hormones), which leads to assumptions that even application of make-up cannot prevent.<br /><br />And, as Jessica already said: if I don't have the wrinkles, I can do the cashmere twinset with pearl nacklace all I want, I will still look like I'm 23 instead of 30.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5223027726680052006.post-85422186962505912072011-10-13T13:54:02.657-07:002011-10-13T13:54:02.657-07:00Mostly, I think what ages a person is wrinkles and...Mostly, I think what ages a person is wrinkles and laugh lines and sun spots. I now look very 30, because wrinkle lines are slowly making their way across my forehead, from raising my eyebrows over and over again. <br /><br />That's what's aging me. Not how I dress and not what makeup I could wear (although the darker red the lipstick, the older the look, apparently). But the skin. The skin betrays age. <br /><br />One can dress as old as they wish (business suits, sensible shoes, etc), but a person can just look like she's playing dress-up or is simply in the work force very early---IOW, is still reading as young. <br /><br />Aging skin seems to be it. <br /><br />Nice pineapple friend!Jessicanoreply@blogger.com