tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5223027726680052006.post807886538411550504..comments2023-07-15T00:49:06.852-07:00Comments on asexy beast: Yearly Thoughts on Dating (Oy)Ilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12795337226989102549noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5223027726680052006.post-45366869536145374972012-05-17T10:49:51.409-07:002012-05-17T10:49:51.409-07:00I go through this a lot. I don't know who I...I go through this a lot. I don't know who I'm supposed to date, or how I'm supposed to feel about them. I get lonely, and think, because I'm taught to, that maybe I would LIKE to date. But it becomes this kind of checklist. I look at relationships I've seen, and go "I don't want that." "No, that's not what I want." "Okay REALLY not that." and I end up putting those thoughts aside, knowing that I do NOT want a boyfriend, and being no clearer on what I do want. It's frustrating.Allyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18126897957971131701noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5223027726680052006.post-7385357501941578242012-04-24T19:02:21.186-07:002012-04-24T19:02:21.186-07:00Ily! Unrelated note - kinda. But this makes an int...Ily! Unrelated note - kinda. But this makes an interesting point about movies... without love as a central thread, a lot of plot lines are just crap. http://dating.failblog.org/2012/04/24/dating-fails-im-sure-theyll-find-a-way-to-put-it-back-next-season/ ...granted, I dislike zombies, but, eh, at least it apparently requires no weird love triangles.heidihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06376018353561979984noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5223027726680052006.post-15003902604475758632012-04-08T21:25:35.750-07:002012-04-08T21:25:35.750-07:00Right on!
I'm so Pleased to have read that, yo...Right on!<br />I'm so Pleased to have read that, you've made such an impact here. I wish I could've read your inspiring message sooner but I had no idea this sexuality existed until fifteen minutes ago. <br /><br />I'm JUST starting highschool so I'm naive in the whole "love"industry. But now that I'm confident there is a reasonable explanation for why I'm terminally disinterested in relationships and a community of people who know how I feel, I think I'm right where I need to be :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5223027726680052006.post-10399131541730734812012-03-26T08:59:09.427-07:002012-03-26T08:59:09.427-07:00Hi, I can relate too, I can't really add very ...Hi, I can relate too, I can't really add very much, just wanted to say it's good to relate.<br /><br />I also wonder whether OKCupid is a good-enough site for certain people, as in the premier page one already has one's options cut down to nearly zero. No wonder it goes nowhere from there. And I would presume that even if there were other, more comprehensive dating sites there'd still be a lot of misunderstanding or willfull misinterpretation of one's profile. <br /><br />I have yet to find an answer to the 'dating' problem' as part of a greater universal problem of the human condition :)Casparhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05734966880761966245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5223027726680052006.post-24125362008816047712012-03-25T13:15:56.966-07:002012-03-25T13:15:56.966-07:00@Anon: I feel glad that other people have had such...@Anon: I feel glad that other people have had such similar thoughts! Although I wish that it wasn't all so confusing...<br /><br />WTFromantic, all the way! I consider myself romantic, but it's not in the same way that most asexuals use the term. I like romantic things, like you're saying, but not necessarily in the context of a romantic relationship.Ilyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12795337226989102549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5223027726680052006.post-44597382805769698292012-03-25T03:06:35.159-07:002012-03-25T03:06:35.159-07:00You've pretty much nailed my feelings on the s...You've pretty much nailed my feelings on the subject, including the part about not knowing what gender(s) to date. I feel as though it could be men or women, but if I dated a man, would I be perceived as gay? Dating a woman and being perceived as straight would not be as complicated for me, socially, but would be just as personally problematic.<br /><br />I'd like to be really close friends with someone, but I have trouble determining whether that counts as romantic or not. I guess that makes me "WTFromantic", a term I've lately heard bandied about. If it means flowers and late night serenades and long walks, then, yeah, I could enjoy those things, but it's not as though..I don't even know. It's not as though I dream about being with particular people, I guess? I can imagine being in a relationship with another person that's just as important and enduring as the mainstream conception of the marriage bond, but whether I'd ultimately describe that as platonic or romantic, I don't know.<br /><br />It's all much too confusing to put on a dating website.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5223027726680052006.post-43664479834748626712012-03-24T21:18:58.167-07:002012-03-24T21:18:58.167-07:00@Anon: Yeah, it's tough to date online when yo...@Anon: Yeah, it's tough to date online when you're ambivalent about dating, period. Your OKCupid activity sounds like mine ;)Ilyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12795337226989102549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5223027726680052006.post-48965810057851986592012-03-23T19:15:16.719-07:002012-03-23T19:15:16.719-07:00I could have written most of that and have the sam...I could have written most of that and have the same thoughts about wanting a life partner. Being aromantic, it is unlikely I will ever have on. Oddly enough, I re-enable my OkCupid profile about every 18 months, and after reading a few profiles disable it again.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5223027726680052006.post-56288814443761673192012-03-22T10:45:20.251-07:002012-03-22T10:45:20.251-07:00@Sara: I do! I would be happy to have platonic o...@Sara: I do! I would be happy to have platonic or "queer-platonic" kind of partner. Like a Boston-Marriage type of thing, I guess. I don't think I could find this type of person through dating, though. Also if I was in this kind of platonic relationship, I think it would be really important that it be mutual. Like, if someone sees me in a romantic way, but I see them in a platonic way, I'm not sure if that would work out.<br /><br />@Dana: <br /><br />"My needs and wants are different than what my outer appearance suggests so when I do go on the odd date there's a dichotomy that I don't know how to get around without the 'way too much, way too soon' conversation."<br /><br />*nodding* Yep, I can relate, not just with dating, but with anyone I want to be friends with. Sometimes I feel like I'm on this tightrope of what to reveal and what to conceal, at any given moment. Not because I'm trying to create a false impression, but because I don't want to overwhelm people with new information.Ilyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12795337226989102549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5223027726680052006.post-17578097636234891922012-03-22T07:09:21.248-07:002012-03-22T07:09:21.248-07:00I'm not sure if this is one of those posts tha...I'm not sure if this is one of those posts that's necessitating comment or not, but I have to say I understand where you're coming from. I've tried to explain to close friends how difficult it is to date someone when you 'don't feel anything' (my words) but I don't think they quite get it. I can't rely on attraction or 'pull' to push me into that second date. Instead I go on the first date and even though I can converse with the best of them it doesn't make me any more inclined to do it again. I guess that means I've yet to meet someone that I'd consider having the asexual conversation with, but still the problem stands. <br /><br />Like you, eventually I would like a life partner. I think. I can't say definitively as I have no experience on which to base the opinion, but some of my friends do appear to be happy (at least from the outside). I can say that I've developed some opinions on the aesthetics of what I think I'd like in a partner but I'm not sure if that's a help or hindrance. Ditto for the fact that for most people I probably represent a 'normal' heterosexual female. My needs and wants are different than what my outer appearance suggests so when I do go on the odd date there's a dichotomy that I don't know how to get around without the 'way too much, way too soon' conversation. <br /><br />I guess there's no easy out for anyone, even 'normal' people don't have the best time at dating or finding a partner, but I have to say that sometimes it seems astronomically harder for me. <br /><br />-DanaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5223027726680052006.post-3682166533082824162012-03-22T05:52:09.076-07:002012-03-22T05:52:09.076-07:00Do you think it would be possible for you to have ...Do you think it would be possible for you to have a satisfying relationship with a life partner without romantic attraction? I know you said that you would miss the feeling, but it is possible to accept the missing-ness? Or is having romantic attraction so essential to what you are looking for in a life partner that, without it, you would rather not have a life partner?Sara K.http://thenoteswhichdonotfit.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.com