This post is about another question asexuals get asked with some frequency:
"If you could become sexual, would you?" is often asked by people in the media, and sometimes asked by other asexuals. Again, there seems to be an assumption underlying this question: That if asexuals were suddenly sexual, our lives would change drastically. However, I'm not so sure that would be the case. Of course, I can't speak for everyone-- maybe some people's lives would be radically altered under that scenario. But let's say, for a moment, I took "the magic pill" and suddenly I was really the heterosexual woman that I'd thought I was before discovering asexuality.
So here I am in this scenario-- I'm sexually attracted to men now. However, I still wouldn't have a sex drive. And I would still be weirded out by the prospect of having sex. Whether my attraction would be strong enough to override that is unknown. I don't think I'd be any more eager to date than I am now, since as I've said before, I'd be a 25-year-old with the dating skills of a 14-year-old. I'd be no better at navigating those confusing social rituals than I am now. I've felt non-sexual attraction before and never acted on it, so why would I suddenly start acting on sexual attraction? And since I'd have lived for 25 years without sex, it wouldn't be astounding for me to live even longer without it, focusing on my other interests like I'd always done. Who I was attracted to would change, but is there any way to know that my priorities would be any different? If I'd always been straight, maybe I would be a different person now. But this is about questions people ask, and "What if you'd never been asexual?" is not one of them. Am I making any sense here?
I think this question also speaks to the way that people, sexual and asexual alike, tend to overemphasize our differences and downplay our similarities. The media tends to not help at all when it comes to elucidating this point. However, what I tried to show in my example is that these radical differences aren't necessarily the case. In some cases? Sure, but not all. There are sexual people who don't have sex, who have no sex drive, who are repulsed by sex, who are aromantic, etc. And I've seen people in all these categories post on AVEN. And then there are the apparently vast troves of non-asexuals who are just not obsessed with sex. Like us, these people are rarely portrayed in media or pop culture either. I'm not saying that the people of the world are going to get together and start a love train any time soon, but I just wanted to raise the idea that "being sexual" may not imply being all that different.