Monday, May 24, 2010

Big vs.Small

The meetup went well, although I totally forgot to take pictures, as I'd planned to do. Seven people attended, from all over the Bay Area. We played board games and chatted about a wide variety of topics. One thing I've realized from the past few larger meetups is that while I'm excited that we're getting more people interested, personally I have a better time at smaller meetups. Blasphemy? Don't get me wrong, I think the larger meetups are rewarding, and I do try to get as many people to attend as possible. But the smaller ones are a lot more fun for me. I guess I'd just rather talk more in depth with people, and that's only possible with fewer of them. I wanted to figure out a way to break into smaller groups for part of the time, but didn't know how to do that without making people feel like we were at a conference or something. Any ideas?

Anyway, I'm not really sure what to do with this revelation, except to explore the idea that in order for the local asexual community to really flourish, we need to foster a wide variety of interactions. We all know I have a zeal for meetups, but they are limited by their structure. I don't really get bored of meetups, especially now that they're so infrequent, but I can imagine how someone might. Since there are always new people that often don't return, it can be a lot of similar conversations over and over, and a lot of the time, those relationships end when that meetup does. So if people feel like they've "been there, done that" with the usual meetups, there's no real next level at this point. For me, I'm glad that I've been able to hang out with some of the folks from meetups outside of meetups. That's one possibility. Others will have to be taken on by other people, if it's really going to be a growing community and not just me, or anyone else, telling everyone else where and when to show up.

9 comments:

Siggy said...

Well, I was planning on going to your meetups sometime next year, but I can see when I'm not wanted...
(lol jk)

Is seven a lot or a little? It sounds pretty small to me. However, if you get much bigger than that, you do need some sort of leadership, someone to run, direct, or moderate the discussion. Otherwise, it tends to get dominated by the louder voices, and everyone else feels left out. Good discussions in large groups don't just spontaneously form out of nothing!

Rebekah said...

Asexual bowling league!

I don't know, actually, and I've never had an official asexual meeting (that is, meeting anyone after meeting them through shared asexuality - I do suspect, however, that one of my best friends is asexual, which may be one explanation of our enduring relationship... but I digress). I really wish I lived in a larger city, though, so that meet-ups were more of an option (I've seen one other person on AVEN who said they were in the same city as me, but they had about five posts and were a decade older).

Ily said...

A bowling league would rock, I love bowling! Well, I'm pretty bad at it, but I like it anyway.

Siggy, are you moving to the area, or traveling through? 7 people is pretty large for a meetup in the US, relatively speaking. It's a big group for a single conversation, although it seemed like everyone did have a chance to talk some.

Then again, I tend to overplan just a tad, so I realize not everyone is going to like having discussion topics or whatnot.

Siggy said...

I'm moving to the bay area in the summer or fall for grad school.

Ily said...

Cool! We'll have to welcome you in style :-)

KC the MoUsY spell-checker said...

Invite your friends from the meetups to other outings. That'll give you a chance to talk to them in smaller groups.

One thing I don't get is, if you have a big group, does the group not naturally break into smaller groups when you talk?

The Sydney meetup group usually gets 5-10 people turning up each month, and when we sit down and talk, I usually just end up talking to the person sitting next to me unless we make an effort to include everyone.

SlightlyMetaphysical said...

About getting people in small groups- you could book a restaraunt with tables of about 6 and a reasonably long service time. This might allow each group of 6 to talk properly.

Anonymous said...

I am so jealous, y'all. Any sociable asexuals in the southeast? Anyone? Bueller?--Level Best

Ily said...

Wow, a bit of interest on this topic! :-)

I've indeed hung out with a few aces outside of meetups, which has been cool.

Level Best, I hope you find some people to meet with you! I've found that if you plan and promote something, people will eventually show...even if it's just 1 or 2 at first, it's something!