I was recently reading a young-adult novel called Perfect You. Even though the title actually refers to a brand of vitamins, it is indeed a love story. At the beginning of the book, the heroine is very attracted to a guy that she thinks is an asshole.
And I don't get that at all! Is it an asexual thing? If I don't like someone's personality, they're literally ugly to me. At times, I've thought someone was cute, but the minute they're revealed to be obnoxious or hold views I strongly oppose, my perception immediately changes. It's like how people would say, "Yeah, Sarah Palin's political ideas terrify me, but she is kind of hot." And like how a friend of mine expressed some shock that I didn't think San Francisco mayor Gavin Newsom is sexy. Not only do I totally disagree with a lot of Newsom's governance ideas ("Ooh, let's stop giving homeless people money and give them services! Psych! There are no services!") , but he just doesn't seem like a nice guy in any way. I have no idea why he keeps getting elected-- does he somehow use hotness as a sort of hypnotism that only asexual people and Republicans are immune to?
However, if I like someone's personality, does that automatically mean that I find them unbearably attractive? Uh, no. Like macaroni and neon cheese powder, personality and attractiveness appear to be two separate things that can only exist together, at least for me.
4 comments:
i think being attracted to assholes is like picking a scab. you know you shouldn't do it, you know it's not going to help anything in the long run, but you just can't help yourself.
that might be part of it, anyway. there are any number of psychological reasons jerks are more interesting than good people.
I believe what your talking about is the halo effect http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halo_effect and I truly hate it, though it is particularly interesting when an attractive individual starts to believe in the traits others incorrectly ascribe to them
So THAT's why really hot people are usually so full of themselves...
I am totally with you on this, and I have also wondered if it's an asexual thing. My attraction to people (at the rare times I experience it) depends largely on how much I like them at that particular time--so if I'm mad at them, no attraction. If I find out they're an asshole, bye bye attraction. I have yet to understand if sexual people experience attraction as something unwavering, but it kind of sounds like it.
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