Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Pies of Love: They're Back!

From the book All About Love, again by bell hooks (thanks Autumn!):

When we see love as the will to nurture one's own or another's spiritual growth, revealed through acts of care, respect, knowing, and assuming responsibility, the foundation of all love in our life is the same. There is no special love exclusively reserved for romantic partners. Genuine love is the foundation of our engagement with ourselves, with family, with friends, with partners, with everyone we choose to love. While we will necessarily behave differently depending on the nature of the relationship, or have varying degrees of commitment, the values that inform our behavior, when rooted in a love ethic, are always the same for any interaction. (pg. 136)

Reading this passage was jarring to me. I had long seen love as a "pie" which had different "pieces": Platonic love, romantic love, sexual love, etc. This was comforting to me because I felt that if I couldn't have the sexual and romantic pieces, there were still others. However, bell hooks seems to view love as one pie with different toppings: Love topped with romance, topped with sex, topped with a parent's nurturing. When I thought about it, hooks' conception started to make more sense to me than my own had done. And, anyone can have the whole pie. So, do you agree with any of these pies, or are you eating a different baked good altogether?


TheJester said...

Dont know if this is on Aven, but thought you might find it interesting...

also found this the other day when I was looking for something completely different- Im sex positive but its a interesting name haha:

take care

Isaac said...

I lean to the theory of the toppings, although I explained it (too lazy to search my own messages) as sauces of pasta.

Ily said...

@TheJester: That's funny, for some reason I can't imagine such a thing being suggested in the US, even though we've had all the issues with abstinence-only sex education. Are you from NZ?

@Isaac: Oh, metaphors, we could end up with an entire meal :)

TheJester said...

Hey Ily,
I'm from Australia :)....It is a random idea though.... thought the black rings were a nice touch too- wonder if they stole that idea from us haha...

found another link for you:
Was on the tube the other night and found this parody of Miley Cyrus - 7 Things- thought it kinda ties into your recent posts about hair removal can check it out here:

take care

Jillian said...

I'm with bell hooks on this one. Mmm, pie. I could try to explain my theory of relationships in a comment, but I think it's easier if I link to the post I already wrote on the subject.

More food analogies, what? Of course.