Friday, May 8, 2009

Anatomy of a Fool

So, I thought I'd provide a nice little arc and write about the conclusion of my thanks-to-Craigslist living situation. I sort of got kicked out of the house at the end of April, when the guy who's been living there the longest said that he wanted the rest of us to leave and his friends to move in. Maybe that was for the best, since I wasn't crazy about living there anyway. So, I'll be moving in with my mom and sister this month. (I remember multiple people telling me before that living with family as an adult is a great unsung option, and now I get to see for myself. Maybe all this pressure to live away from your family is just "the man" trying to get you to work more and spend more money, so living with family is actually pretty radical?) Anyway, this would all work out somewhat fine, if not for the fact that the first housemate apparently stole our security deposits to pay his own rent, and the landlord is just as flaky as he is. I really want to see that money again, but maybe, as a person who isn't motivated by money, money really isn't attracted to me, either. That really seems to be the case.

This was an extremely expensive, extremely annoying lesson that is going to make me paranoid about people I don't know for quite some time. Sorry to be a total downer, but I'm not sure what else to say.

8 comments:

pretzelboy said...

In some cultures (South Korean and China for example) adult children living with parents is considered completely normal.

Carolyn said...

Start writing some scary sounding letters and I bet you'll get your deposit back, that is what I had to do. Renters have scary amounts of rights in San Francisco, don't give up without a fight!

rainbowamoeba said...

I don't consider myself an adult yet (I'm 24 but I'm still a student, I don't have a job and my parents are still taking care of all the taxes/insurance business for me), but I am old enough that many of my friends are not living with their parents anymore while I have been sharing an apartment with my mom for the past two and a half year.

It worked well for me because we are very close and get along well. We also decided not to make this a "daughter living at her mom's place" situation, but a "daughter and mom living together", which made things easier. We eat meals together and have not particularly divided the fridge in two zones because we know each other's diets well enough to remember that tofu is mine and goat cheese is hers, and if she wants tofu it's fine but she just needs to check with me that I don't absolutely need all of it and write down on the shopping list that I need to buy more of it the next time.

Still, I am very independent (probably more than is good for me) and as I said most of my friends now live on their own and I was beginning to long for the time when I would finally be able to do it again myself. The past months have been a bit difficult because of that. Since you are used to living with other people, I don't think this is going to be a problem for you...

In any case, I would probably choose living with my family over living with strangers. At least I know who I'm living with, I know we are compatible (my mom raised me, after all, so she is as much of a clean freak as I am for instance) and I know I don't have to worry they'll steal the security deposit from me (I hope you can get that money back somehow). The best solution, if I couldn't afford living on my own, would probably be to live with a friend - someone I know, like and trust. I don't think I would be able to live with strangers - I'm too paranoid for that. But it's undoubtedly less expensive to live with someone than to live alone. According to my dad, that's actually one of the reasons why couples live together in the first place: not because they can't stand being apart, but because it is cheaper that way.

Lanafactrix said...

One thing I've learned from online gaming (oddly) is that people live in all sorts of "non-traditional" housing. Married couples live with the wife's best friend, grown children live with their parents, adult siblings live together. And whether they've chosen it or had it thrust upon them, it seems to work out in most cases.
Also, make threatening noises about legal action concerning your deposit and see if that shakes things up.

Noskcaj Llahsram said...

Way to go, Fight the power! Living at home is nice, contingent on weather there is enough T.V./Internet/bathrooms to go around.

Ily said...

Thanks for all the comments, I <3 you guys! I do plan on pursuing getting my deposit back...we'll see how it goes.

gatto said...

I'm going to be 32 in less than a month, and I just moved to my mom's house. To be honest, I feel kind of bad about it, like I'm being a mooch or something - even though my mom and I are good friends, and I think she's glad to have me here. I think it won't be as comfortable as living by myself, but I can say that, at least, I think it's very unlikely that I could find better housemates among strangers.

I lived with roommates when I was in college, and it was rather an unpleasant experience. On the other hand, I suppose I did learn from that, and I guess it's best to learn things sooner rather than later.

Ily said...

Yaay, Gatto's back! :-)