As I write this, it's 3:28 am and, always the insomniac, I just can't get to sleep. Earlier in the night, as I was lying in bed staring at the ceiling, I had the idea of writing a blog post about...beds. We'll see if it actually turns out to be an interesting topic. Here goes:
I find it funny how discussions of beds usually have sexual innuendo (did you ever do that thing with your fortune cookies where you added "in bed" to all your fortunes, and it was amusing for some reason?). Call me kinky, but I've never understood the connection between sex and beds. I know that sounds like a bizarre statement, but since a lot of our pop culture seems to involve people rolling around on beds, it seems oddly relevant. I don't want to get too graphic, but trying to move around in any intentional way on the mushy surface of a bed sounds like way more trouble than it's worth to me. If that's not a "You know you're asexual when...", then I don't know what is.
One indicator that I'm not getting any might be the fact that I've always had a tiny twin bed that more than one person would struggle to fit into. Sure, I would like a more luxurious model. But my bedroom has always been too small, and in one case has been an actual closet. The idea of sharing a bed with someone makes the idea of sleep sound even more elusive. And the idea of sharing a twin bed, which I know people do, is something I would just dread. I can handle it for a night or two, but if I ever dated anyone, they would have to understand the fact that I wouldn't want to sleep in the same bed as them all the time. I know I'm hypersensitive, but my bedroom is one of the few environments that I can usually control.
Bed, for me, mostly means the place where sleep evades me. I try to do what the experts say: Not using the computer or exercising late at night, not eating right before bed, not using my bed for other activities (doesn't sex count as another activity?), drinking herbal tea, reading dense and/or boring books (I minored in religious studies) etc. Someone recently told me that even if I was attracted to more people, it would be hard to think about things like romantic relationships when I'm so tired most of the time. To some, my lack of a sex drive might be cause for concern. But to me, my lack of energy and trouble sleeping is my number one medical mystery.