Wednesday, June 10, 2009
What IS asexual pride, anyway?
When I got to work on Monday morning, I saw that the rainbow flags were out en masse, lining much of Market Street, San Francisco’s main drag. As soon-to-be participants in the event marked by these flags, I started thinking about “pride”. What does it mean to have asexual pride? Being proud to be asexual is an odd concept to me. After all, I didn’t choose to be asexual. But, identifying as asexual is a choice—can anyone argue with that? I had the alternative of pretending to be straight but extremely picky forever, but instead, I decided to claim allegiance with yet another small group of "abnormal" people. I’m proud that I was honest with myself on that point. I’m also proud to be part of the asexual community, and associated with all the cool people that it encompasses worldwide. I’m proud to be able to say that I didn’t give up on AVEN meetups, but kept trying to find ways that they would work better and draw more people. And I’m proud that we're doing this SF Pride thing. I’m proud to be part of a long tradition of people with unconventional views of love and relationships, many of whom I’ve talked about on this blog. And I’m proud to be part of a small but mighty asexual blogosphere. So, asexuality itself doesn’t make me proud, but lots of things associated with it do. Viva la asexualite!
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6 comments:
"I’m proud that I was honest with myself on that point."
Everything you said, but especially this. I didn't want to bring this up on the board but might have done it when we're together...the whole "pride" thing has been nagging at me. It's the Pride Parade, but I'm not really proud to be asexual. I accept it, but that's not entirely the same thing. And I'm afraid, because I think a lot of people there both in and observing the parade will think we don't belong there. I don't know if we're "part of the rainbow". It makes me uncomfortable. I'm marching more because I want to support visibility than because I just want to march. I think its important we have as many bodies as we can, otherwise I wouldn't go. I live close enough, so I feel like its my duty. I am not proud to be an asexual. I accept it, and I try to live with it. But it's no picnic. I wish I wasn't asexual. But I am, and yes I suppose I'm proud I finally owned up to it and quit joining dating sites putting that I wasn't interested in sex in my profiles and hoping I would get a taker, and winding up only being told repeatedly by strangers that I needed to get laid. -_-
I wonder too, if people will think we belong there. The pride parade has gotten SO mainstream and we might be a little TOO unusual. But, if there can be things like Wells Fargo and Macy's in the parade, asexuals are definitely relevant. My first and only time observing the parade was last year, and everyone seemed so happy to be there. I think owning up to being asexual, even though I agree it can be really hard at times, is something to be proud of. And I'm glad you'll be marching with us. I think it'll be fun, seriously.
I am so glad I found you. I have been wondering for years what I was and now I know. I knew I was not gay/lesbian but still differant. Can you tell me about finding the meetings? I want to know all I can. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I have been going through life acting like what people expected not myself. Tell me more please.
I'm glad you found me, too! I started regular meetups here in the San Francisco area. There's a "Meetup Mart" section of the AVEN forums, www.asexuality.org, that helped me to reach people. I'd be happy to tell you more, what else do you want to know?
I am in Florida and I was wondering if there were anything here like a meeting or something I can meet others that are like me. I just started going to the MCC church and feel very welcomed there but I am just wondering if there is not more. I was also wondering if I attended the Pride Fest here in Ocala will they look at me funny. I'm going to do more reaserch on aven. can you tell me other sources I can read are get questions answered? Thank you so very much for answering so fast.
Unfortunately, I don't know how many meetups people are doing in FL. AVEN is probably the best place to look. You might want to start a thread, or look for old threads, and see if you can find anyone else in your area, even one other person is a good start.
I'm betting no one will look at you funny at the pride fest, unless you dress up as a giant chicken or something. And if FL pride is anything like SF pride, people probably won't look at you twice even then.
AVEN is pretty much our main resource at the moment, but there's also another really good site at www.apositive.org. There's also a bunch of other asexual blogs, that I've linked to under "Homies".
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