Saturday, December 15, 2007

People get ridiculous

Figleaf has helped me prove that once people put the word "asexual" in a sentence, they get ridiculous. It's as if once that word works its way into people's minds, they abandon all reason. So far, I have not been able to use this power in my favor. And since it's not getting me any free drinks, we might as well send it to the cultural landfill. Here's my example of asexual mindfreakery for the day. The quote comes from an article called "Asexual men and the creeps who live on campus" by Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, best known for his role on the TLC show "Shalom in the Home". The article, about the Duke student rape scandal, says in part:

The male overexposure to women has even led to the death of the heterosexual man as we know him. If the definition of a heterosexual man is a male who is attracted to women, then most men today are barely heterosexual. Think about it. Nearly all the men I know are only attracted to about one in 10 women, that is, the 10 percent of women they consider "hot." The other 90 percent leave them cold. Doesn't that mean that they are 90 percent asexual? And I'm not trying to be funny. If a man is not attracted to a woman, then he is not heterosexual. Period. And if he only attracted to a small fraction of the women he meets, then he is fractionally heterosexual.

How has the venerable rabbi managed to equate asexuals with rapists? How does that make any sense? See what I mean-- ridiculous. As if rape had anything to do with what percentage of people you're attracted to. And as if jerky guys who are only attracted to "HAWT" women are some sort of new sexual orientation. I guess I of all people shouldn't knock new sexual orientations. But seriously, folks. Really now.
*tips over dump truck, watches for seagulls*


figleaf said...

Hey Ily! I got radicalized to asexuality years ago in the sexuality section of a progressive discussion site. A perfectly well-adjusted, non-abused woman piped up that she had no, zero, none interest in sex... and it just freaked everybody out.

And it's *not even a mistake* that it freaked anyone out because by and large asexual people just usually don't talk about it any more than I as a non-stamp collector talk about not collecting stamps.

So anyway, once I got over *my* initial shock and started listening to her I learned a heck of a lot not just about asexuality but about sexuality as well. (And also, obviously, a lesson about how people can *talk* about orientation and tolerance until you run into someone who's just not interested.)

Same when I read Joan Sewell's "I'd Rather Eat Chocolate." Despite a few quibbles dealing largely with her assumption that it's mostly women, I thought it was the most important book about gender and sexuality that year, and maybe of the new century-so-far.

Anyway, because there are so few asexuals blogging about it, even though at any point up to 15% of the adult men and women may be practicing temporary or lifetime asexuals, I've added you to my blogroll.

Take care,


Fellmama said...

Link is to the wrong article D:

Ily said...

Hey figleaf, thanks for your comment! I'll add you to my "homies" as well. It's true that talking about not having sex can be difficult. It's like:
"Hey, what do you want to eat for dinner?"
As an asexual person, I find that it rarely, if ever, comes up. Hence my telling everyone I know about this blog. :-)
I'd Rather Eat Chocolate has been on my to-read list for quite some time now; probably time to bump it up.

Ily said...

Mary, I can always count on your observational skills. I lose at teh internetz. Should be fixed now :-)