"If my answers frighten you, Vincent, then you should stop asking scary questions."
--Samuel L. Jackson to John Travolta, Pulp Fiction
"You are entitled to your opinion, but you’re not entitled to your own facts." --Attributed to Sen. Pat Moynihan
It's some amalgamation of these two quotes that I think of when faced with asexuality-deniers. You might know them-- the modern equivalent of the flat-earth proponents of yore, they are adamant about the fact that asexuality as a sexual orientation cannot exist. Their exhortations always come across to me as some sort of fear. Take, for example, someone's idea that the Wikipedia article (yes, I'm addicted) on asexuality should be deleted:
"I personally don't think that it is possible for a person with normal sexual organs to be completely and totally devoid of sexual [sic] and even this article says that most of these "asexuals" admit that they masturbate, which would mean that they must have some sexual desire, so it probably isn't possible to be completely asexual. So since it is impossible to be asexual I think this bogus article should be deleted."
Ignoring the factual snafus here, why does an article on asexuality offend this person's sensibilities so much and scare them so deeply? As Jules says in Pulp Fiction, if you can't stand the heat, get out of the proverbial kitchen. If you're just going to brush off other people's sexualities, why even go there? Why even emerge from your comfortable cocoon? It's something I fail to grasp. People have always feared what they don't understand, but can that really be all of it?
Luckily, the people close to me in my life accept me for who I am. But there are countless others who try to come out as asexual and only get responses like the one above : "THAT'S NOT POSSIBLE!!" I think some of these adamants can eventually see the light. If the Wikipedia-editor quoted above is reading this, I invite him or her to read the rest of this blog and discover the fact that we are not trying to tear apart your world; just finding a way to live in it that makes sense to us.
I've heard that a major part of homophobia is a fear of the homosexual act itself. But if there is no sexual act, what's left to fear? People that won't come on to you, that won't pressure you to have sex, that won't tell you about their freaky sexual exploits? The logical part of my mind is baffled. But this is one more reason why we need more explicit representations of asexuals in our culture; why you aspiring asexy screenwriters and novelists should get writing. Going "Hey guys, you know that dude on TV, Dexter? Well, I'm like him" will never be a good way to come out.
Unless you want to find yourself tied to a chair.
For your intellectual kicks, here's a picture of what people used to think the earth looked like. All I have to say is that that is one big-arse castle.