Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Tell It Slant?
In Nobody Passes, Amy André wonders, in reference to being a femme lesbian:
Why should I have to teach about that idea?
And I wonder the same thing. As asexuals, we'll always get questions from curious, and sometimes obnoxious, people. How much, and what, should we say? I'm finding that it really varies from person to person. If I say too much, I end up feeling like an educational exhibit and not a person. If I'm in an appropriate context, like a panel, I can break out the Powerpoint presentation. But, long explanations to near-strangers test my sanity. When I was able to say "none of your business!" when a guy I'd known for 10 minutes asked me, "so, you had sex and didn't enjoy it?" I considered this to be personal progress. I used to answer every question for the sake of education, but this left me feeling, for lack of a better word, violated. This advice quoted in What Color is Your Parachute is now my modus operandi: "I used to tell everyone the truth; now I only give it to those that can handle it". I just want to say: You can be totally arbitrary about who you choose to educate. You can educate people in whatever way you see fit. And if you want to tell people to "Just Fucking Google It"? I support that.
Also, I'm happy to tell you that the pamphlets are working! I put some in the SF LGBT Center, and lo and behold, someone posted to AVEN that they were there due to finding these pamphlets. Hurrah! Here's to many more folks finding us!