Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Tell It Slant?

In Nobody Passes, Amy André wonders, in reference to being a femme lesbian:
Why should I have to teach about that idea?
And I wonder the same thing. As asexuals, we'll always get questions from curious, and sometimes obnoxious, people. How much, and what, should we say? I'm finding that it really varies from person to person. If I say too much, I end up feeling like an educational exhibit and not a person. If I'm in an appropriate context, like a panel, I can break out the Powerpoint presentation. But, long explanations to near-strangers test my sanity. When I was able to say "none of your business!" when a guy I'd known for 10 minutes asked me, "so, you had sex and didn't enjoy it?" I considered this to be personal progress. I used to answer every question for the sake of education, but this left me feeling, for lack of a better word, violated. This advice quoted in What Color is Your Parachute is now my modus operandi: "I used to tell everyone the truth; now I only give it to those that can handle it". I just want to say: You can be totally arbitrary about who you choose to educate. You can educate people in whatever way you see fit. And if you want to tell people to "Just Fucking Google It"? I support that.

Also, I'm happy to tell you that the pamphlets are working! I put some in the SF LGBT Center, and lo and behold, someone posted to AVEN that they were there due to finding these pamphlets. Hurrah! Here's to many more folks finding us!


DJ DJ said...

Huzzah! I still need more pamphlets from you (and owe you a phone convo, though this whole week is cra-zay.)

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

That's good advice about only telling people who can handle it. Figuring out who can handle it can sometimes be tricky. I came out to a gay guy who I thought would be cool with it. He wasn't. He kept referring to asexuality as "a disorder" and couldn't understand why I hadn't gone to a doctor to get it fixed.


Ily said...

I'm here DJ, whenever you're available. Maybe I'll call you...mwhahaha. Bernard...LOL...what's my "thing"? And Sarah, yikes, that's rough. Even if people have a hard time wrapping their heads around asexuality, they should definitely appreciate the major guts it takes to come out. Ya knowww?

miss jess said...

Hi Ily

That post by bernard person looks like spam. You should probably delete it so that people don't click the link. Clicking random links is bad :(

Trust me to de-lurk for something like this >< I'll de-lurk properly soon, maybe once I've finished reading through the archives ^^

Ily said...

@miss jess: Done :) Thanks for de-lurking and for reading!