I get this a lot:
"So, are you out or not? I'm so confused!"
'Coming out' is always something that has confused me as well, and I've been thinking about the concept lately. While asexuals may not face the same prejudice that gay folks do, here is why it can be, in some cases, even harder to come out as asexual:
You: "Hey guys, I'm asexual!"
The Guys: "Um...what the hell does that mean?"
This could diminish anyone's enthusiasm for coming out.
I'm beginning to see the process as similar to investing. When you come out, it doesn't necessarily help you now, but it helps your group-- whatever it is you're coming out as-- some time in the future. In the moment, coming out could be anything from a relief to a terror. But one thing is certain- it will always help your group when you come out. Whether or not it helps you as an individual is a risk you take. And whether or not it's a change you'll actually be able to see is unknowable. In our society, power is conferred on those who can pass as "normal". And when you declare that you aren't normal (no matter how happy you are about this), some of your power as an individual is taken away. That's not a crazy idea, is it?
I think that in a lot of cases, Aces haven't met others like them. We may not know who's one of us, so why should we take one for the team by coming out? Any sort of "movement" among A-s is still in its infancy, so when we take that risk, we're not entirely sure what we're investing in.
That's why I think this local community thing is so important. If you actually, face-to-face, know some other A-s, you are connected in a way that you can't be online. A-teamery is the same as philanthropy; You're more likely to invest in someone sitting across from you than in someone across the world.